A Travellerspoint blog

Mystery Massage

A slap, poke, pound and a pinch


Today I had a mystery massage.

One lovely thing about Haikou, is the access to inexpensive massages. There are small parlor's (avoid any pink lighting), mini-chain parlors and massive massage buildings with neon lighting. All of these places are housing thousands of happy customers getting the shit beat out of them in the massage chair as I type. My first experience at Happy Foot was immediately after getting settled in Haikou, upon arrival the pantamiming I performed prompted the host to point to one of the listed massages priced at ¥47. Of course I could not read what the massage would entail, but it was close to a picture of feet in a flower petal bath, so I nodded and was off. The massage turned out to be an hour long, full body, relaxing event which left Cody and I lethargic and loose on our stroll home. Every time I have returned to Happy Foot I felt confident in my massage choice, and left satisfied.

Today was different. I walked in with a calm stride, but soon felt panic, the massage board was completely updated. I tried to keep it together, but no desk attendant got up when I awkwardly made massage motions on my own feet and shoulders. I scanned the prices, and there was nothing less than ¥88. It was clear I was on my own, so I pointed to the cheapest massage and was whisked to the familiar back rooms. Except this time things were a little different. Ordinarily my massages have been a 'keep your clothes on, sit in the massage chair and relax' kinda thing. My first indication that things were different was the silk shorts and robe/shirt I was handed. I unrobed, slipped into the silky goodness and then onto the table.

How does a woman get thumbs that strong!?! My pressure points, veins, arteries and bones were getting man handled, I am talking serious stuff here. I have been victim to deep tissue massages before, but this was supposed to be an after school casual massage. The slapping was fine and the pounding was oddly pleasant, but if my collar bone received one more poke and/or pinch… I might have lost it. I cannot imagine a human walking into an establishment and choosing this as an option. Where oh where was my ¥47 massage, will I ever find it again?

It has been a few hours since the beating, and I have no serious signs of injury yet. I actually feel a bit unwound at this point, but I have sensitive skin and am fairly certain I will look like a leper in the morning. I suppose I could try Foot Health Center or some dim pink lighting, but odds are I will be back at Happy Foot sooner then later.

Embrace the Chaos

Posted by MissMaggieMae 06:50 Archived in China Tagged massage

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